Max Barry was asked to write an essay and read it regarding “Risk”
If you don’t know who he is then you haven’t read “Jennifer Government”.
One of the problems with this video is when the people in the audience ask questions at the end of the lecture you can’t hear their questions and their questions are rarely repeated for the video camera. They need to hand out a microphone for Q&A sessions.
A point that I felt was interesting was the difference between optimistic and pessimistic people with regard to risk. With Jupiter in the First House I tend to be optimistic, no matter what happens. I guess that’s why I’m not crying in my iced tea about the end of this marriage. I don’t have THE FEAR of moving forward with my life. If I feel no fear then there is no risk involved.
Max said that after his daughter was born he became more mercenary, “I became more concerned with getting paid… establishing financial security for the family.” That’s what happened to the Hippies. Free love and flower power along with communal living took on a different hue when off spring were involved. The risk was different when there were babies involved.
Which leads me to the thought about what risks the Boomers are going to take now that their children are grown. The Boomers are always going to be idealistic people, it was ingrained in us by Dr. Spock, who told our parents to raise “idealistic children”. Our concept of risk is different since the 401Ks we had nurtured got hammered, the equity in our homes was crippled, the possibility of social security is getting less and less likely, what have we got to lose after all?
Risk implies that there is something to lose that one doesn’t want to lose.
What if what you wanted to keep secure has been ripped apart by circumstances beyond your control: floods, tornadoes, earth quakes, the lack of ethics with corporations and investment firms that screwed us whole sale? What if all that you wanted to keep your old age secure was pulled out from under you like a cheap rug? What risk is there in pitching a bitch? None, really.
So I’m thinking that Boomers are going to become a big pain in the ass for society as a whole because we cut our teeth on idealism, we learned to walk holding a placard proclaiming our proclivities ( I love aliterations)… so as old farts, who hate the terms: senior citizen, mature, or golden years, as old farts who know how to protest, what are we going to do when we don’t think we have any more to lose than our lives. With the sands of time already piled up in the bottom half of the hour glass the loss of our lives suddenly becomes a moot point, we’re dying as we sit and type and read this blog post.
Boomers, what are you going to do now that your concept of risk has been changed by the recession? Are you going to remember the days of living in the commune? Are you going to remember your first organic garden? Are you going to remember the “Diggers” and the “Free Store”? What dusty activity are you going to dig out from the attic of your past to make your present more livable?
I’m blessed with my two younger sons stepping up to take care of me. We are working on the multi-generational extended family model for this new transition. Bushyaib hopes to be able to have access to his children. I’ll come in handy for grocery shopping, cooking and cleaning, and caring for the grand children, while the adults of productive years go to work. It’s a model that has worked around the world for centuries and was interrupted with the advent of a mobile society being shuffled about by corporate masters who didn’t care who suffered for profits.
Yes, think about why your parents moved when you were growing up? Because the company wanted your dad to be elsewhere, or because the company closed and mom and dad had to go off and find work elsewhere. That’s why our extended families got split asunder. That’s why the nuclear family went to critical mass in the suburbs giving rise to a level of domestic violence we had not seen before in multi-generational extended households.
So why does an essay on risk lead me down this road of thought?
Because with a divorce I have to figure out how to fund and a new life ahead of me I wonder why I am not crippled with THE FEAR. I wonder why I look forward and don’t feel that I’m risking anything. You can’t lose what you never had, is why. I’ve come to the realization that the illusion of being married was more important to me than than the reality that I was walking on egg shells all the time around someone who had mood disorders and who was always pessimistic. I’ve come to the realization that I’m an optimistic person and that takes a dose of Faith to go forward without fear. I realized that my Faith was sorely tested these last 12 years. I feel like I passed some test or something.
Risk, or the fear of risk, involves the fear of loss of something you cherish, or fear of an outcome that may be uncomfortable. Once you’ve lost something and survived you can’t fear the loss anymore, it’s like behavioral modification for the obsessive compulsive, the more you survive the enclosed elevator the more you realize that you can overcome your fear. I’ve survived the end of this marriage. I’ve even found myself being more peaceful. So the feared possible uncomfortable outcome didn’t happen, thanks to my grown sons who were my safety net.
Another reason these thoughts are rolling around in my brain like dried peas in a bucket is I had a long talk with the most darling Ms Lori Lynn, who called me from NYC, sweltering in the heat (97 degrees F) and I was in a sweater with leg warmers in San Francisco (56 degrees F) and she was concerned for me, with the pending divorce and all that. In the chat with her I realized I’m ok. I don’t feel bad. I don’t feel afraid. I don’t feel unlovable or undesirable. All the classic responses to being dumped penniless, two years to early retirement, without savings, were not part of my response menu, which I found interesting. That’s why I’m kicking these thoughts around today.