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New Space for a new life here are the pictures of my transformed space, still boxes and boards, a work in process, but it's my space and I'm loving it, along with loving my new life. ClayMates: You know I've been going through a big re-org. Below is an explanation of why I've been MIA at CITY-o-Clay. I share this because the worst is over and there's good times ahead.
06-20-09: Summer Solstice eve 2009:
"The Summer Solstice celebrates the joy, warmth and laughter of summer; and God's power. The beginning of summer represents a time for purification, renewal of the self, a time to release the sadness, fears and pains from your life. A time for purification and renewed energy." http://www.circle-of-light.com/Spells/summer-solstice.html
It seems fitting that one week after my (soon to be ex) husband's belongings got moved out of the apartment that I find myself on the eve of the Summer Solstice. It's taken me a week to fill the void with art and sewing supplies.
Now I have room to teach polymer clay in a non-smoking environment. When family and friends come over they are amazed at the transformation. I'm feeling good about the transformation as well, truth be known. I have room to create art, to sew, to assemble mix media projects, to socialize, and to be myself again.
A common reaction to the end of my marriage has been concern and sadness. I've had two years of getting used to the idea so I'm not sad. Grief has phases: shock, denial, anger, negotiations, depression and acceptance. It is said that for every year of a relationship one should grieve 2 months for its loss. I was married for 12 years so that's 24 months of grieving. Stick a fork in me, kiddos, I'm done. I'm ready to move on.
This Summer Solstice is significant for me because I am going to release the sadness, fear and pain from my life. This is a new beginning for me. Never have I faced life as a single woman and as an artist, at the same time. I was single for a long time before getting married this last time, nearly 2 decades of being single and taking care of my two younger sons. I've been someone's something most of my life. Now when I am facing my 60th year I find myself single, blossomed into being an artist, loving being a teacher and mentor to the ClayMates, and I am not afraid.
God bless my two younger sons, Bushyaib and Said, for being my financial safety net, as well as my emotional and spiritual support. I could not have survived the last two years without their daily presence.
God bless my female friends, who knew all this time of the transitions I've been going through, and have "been there" for me in spirit, through visits, phone calls, and email. I could not have gone through this with as much grace without them.
God bless the ladies of the COCModSquad who have been supportive, loving and concerned. They "cover me" when I'm going through a particularly difficult part of the transition, and make sure that the ClayMates at CITY-o-Clay are taken care of when I'm wrestling with my life. I love and appreciate them more than they could ever know.
God bless the ClayMates at CITY-o-Clay, who have given me a needed and enjoyable distraction every day with their posts, sharing their progress in their artistic journey, and providing me with good fellowship.
God bless us one and all.
I remind myself that fear is the opposite of faith, that the end of one thing is the beginning of another, and with that in mind I do not look back over my shoulder, like Lot's wife, getting salty. I look forward to a bright new beginning, of being the artist I knew was within me, to creating art work in an environment that is filled with faith, love, and positive energy.
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