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This was
written in April 2001 when two pairs of sisters (Sherry and Geraldine/Linda
and Nora) met for the first time in Jackson, Mississippi, because their
father died. We were 4 women in 1 motel room for 5 days without any
arguments. We must be related. This is a post I wrote to the ClayMates who
were tracking my 2001 polymer clay teaching tour.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
This is all
true and happened today.....
You know you're a redneck if....
Your daughter's don't look vaguely alike and
meet for the first time
at your funeral.
You know you're a redneck if...
Everyone shows up at the funeral in pick-up
trucks, wearing blue
jeans, tennis shoes or cowboy boots, and
gimme hats
You know you're a redneck if...
Everyone was relieved when they realize that
Daddy can be cremated in
a cardboard box and hospital gown...since
everyone is as broke as the
10 Commandments
You know you're a redneck if...
The whole family immediately sings along to
Patsy Cline over the PA
system at the Cracker Barrel Restaurant and
loves it
You know you're a redneck if...
One of your daughter's has two day worth of
left over biscuits from
the Cracker Barrel in the motel...just in
case someone gets hungry in
the middle of the night.
You know you're a redneck if...
to feed four daughters you need three bowls
of gravey at breakfast
You know you're a redneck if...
One of your daughters has an employee
discount at WalMart and the
wake consists of buying rubber gloves and
cleanser and garbage bags
to clear out the trailer. (Sherry says ...you
know you're a red neck
if your bridal registry is at Walmart).
You know you're a redneck if...
you have to watch out for the two rat
catching snakes that live in
the trailer when you're clearing things out
You know you're a redneck if...
There's a half a dozen broken cars up on
blocks in front of your late
daddy's trailer..but are thrilled that the
truck only needs a new
starter
You know you're a redneck if...
There's three non functional john deer lawn
mowers over grown with
kudzu in the yard
You know you're a redneck if...
you dibs the tools for your mechanic husband
as part of your
inheritance
You know you're a redneck if...
your late daddy has a brand new conferederate
flag in a plastic bag
on the top of the broken pipe organ by the
front door of the trailer,
the presence of which causes each daughter to
go through different changes
So folks, all this is true and my sisters
approved and added to the
list. Daddy's ashes are going to be split
into two boxes and one half
gets dusted over the Gulf of Mexico and the
other half go into
Japanese urns and get carried around from
home to home
The Rice Cracker Clan is off to clean the
trailer and kiss the dog
good bye.
xoxox
NJ
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On
the 10th Anniversary of my father’s death: